


Why Wouldn't I Be Okay?

by DeckofDragons



Category: Futurama
Genre: Far in the future, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Remembering happier times, Technically there's a fair bit of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:20:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29818623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeckofDragons/pseuds/DeckofDragons
Summary: Bender remembers some good times he had with Fry.
Relationships: Philip J. Fry/Bender Rodriguez
Kudos: 13





	Why Wouldn't I Be Okay?

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a post I saw on Tumblr that I would link if I could find it again but I can't. Anyway the post said something along the lines of 'imagine Bender recording Fry's voice to replay it to himself later, now imagine him replaying it long after Fry had passed away'. It was supposed to have been a drabble but it ended up being 2k words long (my own fault for the choice of one of memories I decided to include) so I feel it deserves to be its own fic.

_“Wait, you’re the only friend I have.”_

_Bender paused, turning to look back at Fry. “You really want a robot for a friend?” There was no way that could be true because what human in their right mind wanted to be friends with a robot?_

_“Yeah, ever since I was six.” He looked and sounded completely honest. Bender would’ve suspected it was an attempt at a cruel trick if it wasn’t for the fact Fry had just got done mistaking a suicide booth for a place to make phone calls and not realized the mistake until it had almost killed him; no way someone that stupid could fake being genuine so well. Meaning not only did he want a robot as a friend, he’d_ already _decided that the two of them were friends. … Bender had never had a friend before so…_

_“Well okay, But I don’t want people thinking we’re robo-sexuals so if anyone asks, you’re my debugger.” Why not give this whole friendship thing a go? If it didn’t work out or he got bored of it, the suicide booth would still be there._

Bender sighed as he stopped the recording. It was crazy how much his life had changed that day all thanks to his chance encounter with Fry and then on a whim deciding to agree with Fry’s decision that they were friends. It wasn’t often he cared to take time to appreciate that but today was certainly a good day for it. … It was a good day for a lot of things.

_The heater elements made him run uncomfortably hot and slowed down his other systems a bit but it was nowhere near bad enough to risk damage or automatic shutdown. A little bit of discomfort was worth it because his plan had worked; Fry had cuddled up to him without argument, complaint, or even much hesitation._

_Fry was soft and squishy pressed up against Bender’s side. With an arm wrapped so firmly around him, Bender could feel his breathing. It was slowing and evening out as the last of the tension melted from his body. A quick furtive glance revealed that his eyes were closed now too; he was sleeping or in the process of falling asleep. Which wasn’t surprising the cold that had settled in their apartment after Bender had gutted the space heater had woken him several hours earlier than normal, especially for their day off. But it was still nice to see he was comfortable enough with Bender to fall asleep so quickly while they were cuddling like this. If only this could be a regular thing. …_

_Oh fuck, Bender was hopelessly in love, wasn’t he? Though he probably should’ve realized that upon coming up with this plan and deciding to do it, huh? Not that it mattered how or why he realized because…_

Bender pulled himself out the memory. Looking back on it now, he almost couldn’t believe how he’d been so thoroughly convinced that there was no hope of that love being reciprocated. Him and Fry were basically the perfect match.

_“I like you for you,” Fry said looking directly at Bender. “You’re great and you’re my best friend. And I love spending time with you whether we’re off on a space adventure or just lazing around the apartment watching TV together. So, I’d like to be more than just friends if that’s what you want too. If not, that’s… okay too, I’d understand.”_

_Bender did want that even if he’d never dared to actually hope for it. Before he said ‘yes’ though… “Oh, hmmm… what else do you like about me?” There was no way he could ever pass up an opportunity to make Fry say more nice things about him._

_“You’re always fun to talk to and you’ve got great ideas for ways to pass the time when we’re bored. And even though you steal my wallet all the time, you always give it back eventually. And you’re a robot and that’s still super cool even if I’m used to robots by now because you were the first one I met and I wasn’t lying when I said I’d always wanted a robot for a best friend. So really by being my pal, you’re fulfilling a lifelong dream of mine. I’ve never thought about dating one before now though, it just never occurred to me until after that uh… kiss experiment we did.”_

_“Go on.”_

_Fry gave him a slightly annoyed look that only increased Bender’s enjoyment of the moment. “You’re also very confident, especially in yourself. And you’re also super strong, you can bend metal like it’s made of paper which is super cool. And sometimes you use that strength to open jars for me and sometimes you don’t even make fun of me for not being able to open it myself. Also, even despite our occasional disagreements, we always make up eventually and then we’re friends again like nothing ever happened and… that’s really nice. So… will you go out with me?” He held a hand out towards Bender, offering it._

_Ah shit, Bender couldn’t drag this out any longer, could he? He wasn’t programmed to be able to handle emotional situations, heck he wasn’t programmed to have emotions at all. How did he say ‘yes’ without coming off as awkward and desperate? Or without fucking up his chances some other way? ... He had to say or do something! …_

_“Well, if you’re going to butter me up that much, I suppose we can go on one date and see what happens.” He couldn’t help but look away as he put his hand in Fry’s. That hadn’t exactly come out how he would’ve…_

_Fry’s grip on Bender’s hand tighter as he yanked him closer. “Can I kiss you again? For real this time, not just as an experiment?” Their bodies were very close now, enough that he could’ve just done it without asking. He didn’t even_ need _to as far was Bender was concerned._

_“I just agreed to go on a date with you meatbag, what do you think?”_

_Fry didn’t do it though, nor did he say anything. He was far too cute and sweet for his own good. It_ was _endearing though._

_Bender sighed. “Yes moron, you can kiss me again.”_

Finally _Fry kissed him again. His lips were warm and soft, an odd sensation but a pleasant one. And just like last time it was over before Bender was really ready for it to be._

_“Better than last time?” Fry asked, his face flushing a little._

_“A little.” And the first one had already been pretty good, even if Bender would never admit to it._

If only Bender could actually relive any of these moments. The visuals and audio were crystal clear and his recall of his emotions and internal thoughts were also recorded perfectly but it was still _just_ a memory that he was choosing to play the full recording of in his head. No matter how much he wished he could sink into them as if they were happening in real time, he couldn’t. With another useless sigh, he started playing the next one.

_As casually as he physically could, Bender strode over to stand by Fry as he hosed down the ship._

_Fry turned his head to look at him with a smile. “I didn’t think you’d show up again until after the ship was done being cleaned.”_

_Bender hadn’t known that that was happening otherwise he would’ve stayed hidden for a while longer. “Eh, it’s whatever, Leela’s not around to order me to help so I don’t have to. But uh… I have a gift for you.”_

_Fry gave him a skeptical look. “It’s not another thing you stole that you’re giving to me so I get in trouble instead of you, is it?”_

_“Nope and for once I actually mean that. I_ did _steal it though. But it was a while ago, I doubt anyone cares anymore so you probably won’t get in trouble for having it.”_

_He didn’t look completely convinced but after a couple seconds hesitation, Fry shrugged as he placed the hose on the ground and turned to face Bender fully. “All right then, what is it?”_

_Already in his hand and hidden behind his back, Bender pulled out the ring box. With a practiced flick of his wrist, he flipped open the lid so that Fry could see the big fancy ring inside. “Will you marry me?”_

_His eyes widening, Fry gasped. “I uh… yes, yes of course!”_

_Bender had expected a ‘yes’ – why_ wouldn’t _Fry want to marry him? – but the enthusiasm was appreciated. Being excited about it was maybe a bit silly but -_

“You okay Bender?”

With a jolt, Bender stopped the recording and opened his eyes. Cubert and Dwight hovered in front of him with worried expressions. Which just wasn’t right because they looked like their fathers now – especially Cubert because he was clone – neither of whom had ever been concerned about Bender, or at least not enough to look at him like that. How their sons had grown up to be such softies was a mystery, an annoying one.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be okay?” Bender didn’t bother getting up from the couch in hopes that they’d leave soon.

“Well,” Cubert said, “You stayed overnight at work again. That’s not something people who are okay typically do.”

“Or _maybe_ I just arrived before you did.” Bender had meant to leave the breakroom and head to probably the basement instead before they’d arrived but they’d just _had_ to come in an hour early.

Dwight sighed and shook his head. “Also, according to my records it’s the one-year anniversary of… well… uh… you know. So it makes sense that you’re not okay, especially today.”

The one-year anniversary of Fry’s death. By some miracle he’d been the last to go, outliving even Leela by almost two whole years. It had been inevitable though, even modern science could only keep him alive for so long. And thus Bender had known it was coming from the very start _and_ had seen all their friends die one by one… he’d never been ready to face it though, still wasn’t.

Despite that, he scoffed and rolled his eyes. “It’s been a year, I’m over it. Meatbags die, it’s one of the things they’re most known for. So I’m over all their deaths, including and especially his.”

Neither of them believed him. In fact, they looked at him with even more sadness and worry than before as if he were some poor lonely sap to be pitied. “It’s okay to grieve,” Cubert said. “You don’t have to be ashamed of it, we miss him and everyone else too. And we know how much you two loved each other.”

Dwight looked like he was going to say something in agreement but before he could get a single annoying word out, Bender stood up. “I have work to do.” He went past them and left the room, heading for the ship hanger.

Only one of the two company ships were in. The other was due to return sometime today and when it did, the team crewing it would probably have something for him to do. If not and probably if so as well, he’d be sure to be part of the crew going on the next mission because he needed the distraction. Hopefully it’d be a long one too so he’d have an excuse to continue to not return to his empty apartment.

Ugh, he was actually looking to do work for once and hoping it’d take a long time. That’s how far he’d fallen this past year. … He could delete his memories of Fry and all his friends – he even missed Zoidberg and Scruffy, something he never would’ve predicted. It’d hurt _so much_ less if he did. With help he could even delete them so thoroughly that he wouldn’t even know anything had been deleted.

But… meeting and befriending Fry had irrevocably changed his life. Those memories not only included his happiest, they were also the majority of his life at this point. What would he be like if he did delete them? … Impossible to say and… he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. So… for now, he’d continue to live with them and continue to hope that maybe one day they’d hurt less.


End file.
